Pictures

As I was finishing up my last post, I published it, and then saw that my pageviews have just passed 1000. (1001 to be exact). I know that it's in part people who have already been here, but then checked again... but who cares. Still pretty awesome.
To celebrate, I'm adding some pictures. Of the past, of the present, but the future is still to come.

I love these two. Neither of them are with me now, but they are forever in my heart. (Yes, I am corny). Rolo and Karmen.

I didn't want to put pictures of anybody but me in here because I consider it invasion of privacy (at least on fb I have my account protected). This one is far away though. It's taken in a museum in Edmonton.

I went on a wine tour with my ex (he wasn't an ex at the time) in BC right before I moved to Saskatoon. It was a good time.

 

 

A fantastic walk in the rain.

 

 

Now, I'm done blogging for the night.

The 'to do in my near and far away future' list

This list isn't small, and I like it that way. There are things on it that may never happen, and things on it that might happen tomorrow. Things I want to do this year, and things I want to do some day. As I said, I think it's important to see what I've done in the past, and to be proud of my accomplishments, but making plans to better myself and for the future are just as important.

So here we go.

• Things I want to do in this year:
• Lose weight -eat better and exercise
• By summer, I want to be able to participate in a marathon. We'll see, but I think it's for sure something I'd like to do. If not this year, than in the future.
• I'd like to volunteer. Hoping to volunteer for something literacy related.
• Save money and pay off bills.
• Spend as much time with family and friends as I am able to because that's why I came back.
• Get a car -although I need to make sure I have a job that lasts more than a year before I can even consider that. I'm only here covering a maternity leave, so everything depends on if I have a job at the end of the year or not. I would rather be able to keep the job because it might be time for some stability in my life, but if I don't end up with one in July, then I've got the whole world open to me.
• Try to date again. I don't want to jump into a relationship, but I'm ready to just date. If something turns into a relationship, that's fine as well.
• Write. All the time. Blog, journal, and fiction.
• Do the best I can in work, life and future plans.
• Things I want for my future:
• Love. I want to be in love with somebody, and I want them to be in love with me.
• Marriage and a baby. (This isn't anytime soon).
• Travel. I want to go to so many places. To name a few: Europe by train, Ireland, Scotland, Australia, South Africa, India, Mexico... Really, every where.
• I want to visit Newfoundland again.
• I want to try scary things. Bungee jumping (I've already tried this, and decided against it when I was at the top. I'd actually be okay with myself if I don't do it.) I want to skydive. I want to try new things.
• I want to be published.
• I want to make a difference.
• I hope to have a job I love. It could be the one I'm currently doing, or something different.
• I want to make it to Toronto. I've been there, but now I have friends who live there, and I've been promising to visit for years. This may not happen in a year, but I still want it to be in my recent future.

That's all I can think of. The good thing about blogging though, is that I can edit and add things all I want. (As I keep doing with the list I wrote yesterday.)

Till next time.

The 'already done and proud of it' list

I think too much of life is spent thinking of regrets and working on the 'bucket list'. Things you wish you had done, and things you plan to do. I know I've spent too much time wishing I had made different choices, or that I had done things differently. I also spend time thinking about all the things I'd like to do. Not really goals, but things that I hope to get to do so they won't end up on my regret list. Life can't just have a regrets list and a still to do list. So I'm going to write my 'glad I've done it list'. There are so many things on that list, and it's important to remember that. I do have my things still to do list, and I think that's important, but I need to pay attention to both. Some things on this list weren't planned, just things I've done and I'm proud of.
So here they are -in time line order. (But without the times).

• Learning how to ride a bike. I was a late learner, which seems to be a theme in my life. It's the first thing I remember being proud of. I'm sure I did things before that -like walking.
• Writing from a young age. Stories, letters, journals, you name it, I wrote it.
• When I was a teenager, I submitted a short story I wrote to a magazine. It didn't get published, but that's not even important. Having the guts to submit my work was what I'm proud of.
• I was in drama from grade seven on. School drama, and in grade 12, I was in the town play and the school play. For this I am proud. I was a shy kid, and drama was a way to get it out.
• I went to a writing camp. To get in, I had to submit a piece of work. I got in. Two summers in a row. It was a chance to do what I loved.
• Graduating high school with an 80 average. Grades weren't easy for me. I really had to try, and I did (I just waited for my last year).
• Going to Katimavik. Katimavik is a program -government funded. I met up with 10 other strangers and we lived in three different provinces for three months each. It was my first 'real life' experience. Although, quite a guarded 'real life'. I met friends, who I'm happy to say I still have contact with, found my first 'real' boyfriend, and had so many firsts.
• In Katimavik -I climbed a mountain in Newfoundland
• I kayaked in the ocean in Newfoundland.
• I worked at a Marine Centre, and built a boardwalk
• I fell in love with my first boyfriend
• I toured Newfoundland -St. Johns, Gross Mourne, Terra Nova (and more)
• I toured Ontario -Niagra Falls, Toronto, Ottawa, and Carleton Place
• I got my first tattoo.
• I worked in a daycare
• I travelled Quebec -Baie St Paul, Quebec City, and Montreal
• I dealt with my first heart break (but to an 18 year old, it takes longer to heal than it should). I got over it -that's the thing to be proud of.
• I shaved my head. Which takes courage.
• I planned a trip to Montreal for the group. I'm proud of that because I was taking on leadership roles I didn't know I had.
• I thought I had life figured out, and myself figured out. (I didn't)
• Finishing Katimavik
• After Katimavik, I spent a year learning while learning more about myself. I lived in Moose Jaw with my grandma and loved getting to know her. I spent time with my best friends. I met a guy I loved and dated for another five years.
• I thought I had life figured out, and myself figured out. (I didn't).
• I got accepted to University.
• I worked at a Sobeys behind a deli counter for four years while I went to University. I'm proud of the fact that I did it with minimal breakdowns.
• I volunteered for the ambassador program at U of R -giving tours to students interested in attending U of R. I also volunteered for the Transition House in Regina.
• I thought I had life figured out, and myself. (I didn't).
• I graduated University with a BA in English.
• I got hired out of a lot of other students from a Creative Writing job at the Leader Post (the newspaper in Regina). I hated it, but I still got the job.
• I made a life changing choice. I left EVERYTHING and moved to South Korea where I knew nobody. (I had a cousin there, but hadn't seen him in years).
• I made the decision after moving there to break up with Garnet. To this day, it's one of the bravest things I've ever done.
• I met friends that will forever be in my heart. I hope to see them again.
• I learned more about myself, and was able to finally try all new things. New foods, new culture, new language.
• I went to the world famous Mud festival, spent time in a Buddhist Temple, and went para-gliding twice, and went snow boarding.
• I taught all types and all ages of students.
• I tried new things.
• I found out that I didn't have life figured out, and I had so much to learn about myself.
• I came home with the plan to return to Asia, but this time teach in Taiwan.
• My friend from Katimavik, Katie and I went on an amazing trip to Thailand and Taiwan.
• I learned how to surf, rode an elephant, got a bamboo tattoo and experienced all that Thailand had to offer.
• I went to Taiwan. I said no to the job I went there for. I'm proud of this because I came to the realization that I had to stop running away from real life.
• I came home, started over, found a place to live, and found a job (or two).
• I went to broadcasting school while working almost full time.
• I was in the best shape, and my favourite weight.
• I wasn't scared of anything.
• I graduated from my six month broadcasting course.
• I was a bridesmaid twice for both my best friends. Nice to be loved.
• I had my first job in radio. I was a Creative Writer in Melfort for CIXM. I loved my job.
• I got my driver's license thanks to a supportive boss.
• I got my first car.
• I moved to Whitecourt Alberta to take a new job at CIXM. Account Executive.
• I did well.
• I bought my first house.
• I thought I had life figured out.
• I finally attempted to have another 'real' relationship. (other than flings). It didn't work out.
• I went to Vegas with my sister. Celebrated her 30th. Saw Bette Midler and went shopping. So great.
• I learned I'm ready to have babies. (but not yet).
• I met a guy who helped me and loved me as much as he could. We stayed together for two and a half years.
• I quit my job. I hate to quit, so it was brave. Unfortunately it left me with no job.
• I survived the toughest year of my life. No exaggeration. A miscarriage and two deaths. I'm not proud of that, but I'm proud of getting through it. Although it took a long time.
• I turned 30.
• For the first time since graduating broadcasting school, I started broadcasting. I went back to CIXM as an intern. I was on air some evenings, and voice tracked weekends. I loved it.
• I worked at a job in a hotel working nights. I didn't think I would enjoy it, but I did. I also enjoyed the respect I had from my boss. Gave me some self confidence that I had lost.
• I applied for a Creative Writing job in Saskatoon for radio. I got the job.
• I moved to Saskatoon. I found a place to live, and I've started over as a single girl.
• I have participated in every thing I could in this beautiful city. Folk fest, the Fringe, the Ex, Wicked, and so much more. I experienced a great summer and fall. Some of it with my ex and some of it alone. I've made new friends, and caught up with my old friends, and am spending time with my best friend's children.

That's it. I'm sure there is stuff that I've missed, but here are the important things in my adult life. There will be more. They'll happen from a list or by accident, but they will be great. Just like my past has been.

Helping

I meant to write sooner. Of course, life has gotten in the way. Or I have. I'm trying to do a lot more writing lately. It's hard to do that because I basically write all day at work. I think the only way to work on myself is to write. Journal write, blog, and hopefully write some fiction. That's what I need the most practice with now. It used to be all I ever wrote -other than the occasional journal as I was growing up.

I've been thinking lately about my job. I love it, and I love the fact that I get to write for most of the day. I just sometimes wish I was doing something that helped people. Before I went to Korea, I was accepted into Social Work. It will always be one of those things that I wonder about. Originally, I had planned to come home in a year and take it -but things change. Life would certainly be different. I love where I've gone in life, and the things that I've done so I don't spend a lot of time thinking about what could have been. I just know that if I had chosen Social Work, things would be a lot different. I would have a career that involved helping people. Or -trying to help people. I guess I just see friends who have amazing jobs, that should leave them feeling amazing about themselves because of all that they do. I don't really have a job like that. In fact, I have a job that annoys people.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this because I do love my job. I love the fact that every day I get to go to work and be creative. It's a pretty good feeling when I'm busy. I think I just have to balance it out. I know that my job isn't helping people, so maybe I should volunteer. Once a week would good even to start. I just need to find the perfect place to volunteer. I was thinking I'd get a second job, but for now I think I'll volunteer. I'm not saying this is going to happen soon -I'm still getting comfortable with my new life, and working on myself, but it will happen when I'm ready.

I have another post that will be coming either today or tomorrow, but it won't be with this one... not the same thoughts. Although, that has never really stopped me before.