Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The 'already done and proud of it' list

I think too much of life is spent thinking of regrets and working on the 'bucket list'. Things you wish you had done, and things you plan to do. I know I've spent too much time wishing I had made different choices, or that I had done things differently. I also spend time thinking about all the things I'd like to do. Not really goals, but things that I hope to get to do so they won't end up on my regret list. Life can't just have a regrets list and a still to do list. So I'm going to write my 'glad I've done it list'. There are so many things on that list, and it's important to remember that. I do have my things still to do list, and I think that's important, but I need to pay attention to both. Some things on this list weren't planned, just things I've done and I'm proud of.
So here they are -in time line order. (But without the times).

  • Learning how to ride a bike. I was a late learner, which seems to be a theme in my life. It's the first thing I remember being proud of. I'm sure I did things before that -like walking.
  • Writing from a young age. Stories, letters, journals, you name it, I wrote it.
  • When I was a teenager, I submitted a short story I wrote to a magazine. It didn't get published, but that's not even important. Having the guts to submit my work was what I'm proud of.
  • I was in drama from grade seven on. School drama, and in grade 12, I was in the town play and the school play. For this I am proud. I was a shy kid, and drama was a way to get it out.
  • I went to a writing camp. To get in, I had to submit a piece of work. I got in. Two summers in a row. It was a chance to do what I loved.
  • Graduating high school with an 80 average. Grades weren't easy for me. I really had to try, and I did (I just waited for my last year).
  • Going to Katimavik. Katimavik is a program -government funded. I met up with 10 other strangers and we lived in three different provinces for three months each. It was my first 'real life' experience. Although, quite a guarded 'real life'. I met friends, who I'm happy to say I still have contact with, found my first 'real' boyfriend, and had so many firsts.
    • In Katimavik -I climbed a mountain in Newfoundland
    • I kayaked in the ocean in Newfoundland.
    • I worked at a Marine Centre, and built a boardwalk
    • I fell in love with my first boyfriend
    • I toured Newfoundland -St. Johns, Gross Mourne, Terra Nova (and more)
    • I toured Ontario -Niagra Falls, Toronto, Ottawa, and Carleton Place
    • I got my first tattoo.
    • I worked in a daycare
    • I travelled Quebec -Baie St Paul, Quebec City, and Montreal
    • I dealt with my first heart break (but to an 18 year old, it takes longer to heal than it should). I got over it -that's the thing to be proud of.
    • I shaved my head. Which takes courage.
    • I planned a trip to Montreal for the group. I'm proud of that because I was taking on leadership roles I didn't know I had.
    • I thought I had life figured out, and myself figured out. (I didn't)
    • Finishing Katimavik
  • After Katimavik, I spent a year learning while learning more about myself. I lived in Moose Jaw with my grandma and loved getting to know her. I spent time with my best friends. I met a guy I loved and dated for another five years.
    • I thought I had life figured out, and myself figured out. (I didn't).
  • I got accepted to University.
    • I worked at a Sobeys behind a deli counter for four years while I went to University. I'm proud of the fact that I did it with minimal breakdowns.
    • I volunteered for the ambassador program at U of R -giving tours to students interested in attending U of R. I also volunteered for the Transition House in Regina.
    • I thought I had life figured out, and myself. (I didn't).
  • I graduated University with a BA in English.
  • I got hired out of a lot of other students from a Creative Writing job at the Leader Post (the newspaper in Regina). I hated it, but I still got the job.
  • I made a life changing choice. I left EVERYTHING and moved to South Korea where I knew nobody. (I had a cousin there, but hadn't seen him in years).
    • I made the decision after moving there to break up with Garnet. To this day, it's one of the bravest things I've ever done.
    • I met friends that will forever be in my heart. I hope to see them again.
    • I learned more about myself, and was able to finally try all new things. New foods, new culture, new language.
    • I went to the world famous Mud festival, spent time in a Buddhist Temple, and went para-gliding twice, and went snow boarding.
    • I taught all types and all ages of students.
    • I tried new things.
    • I found out that I didn't have life figured out, and I had so much to learn about myself.
  • I came home with the plan to return to Asia, but this time teach in Taiwan.
  • My friend from Katimavik, Katie and I went on an amazing trip to Thailand and Taiwan.
    • I learned how to surf, rode an elephant, got a bamboo tattoo and experienced all that Thailand had to offer.
    • I went to Taiwan. I said no to the job I went there for. I'm proud of this because I came to the realization that I had to stop running away from real life.
  • I came home, started over, found a place to live, and found a job (or two).
    • I went to broadcasting school while working almost full time.
    • I was in the best shape, and my favourite weight.
    • I wasn't scared of anything.
    • I graduated from my six month broadcasting course.
    • I was a bridesmaid twice for both my best friends. Nice to be loved.
    • I had my first job in radio. I was a Creative Writer in Melfort for CIXM. I loved my job.
    • I got my driver's license thanks to a supportive boss.
    • I got my first car.
  • I moved to Whitecourt Alberta to take a new job at CIXM. Account Executive.
    • I did well.
    • I bought my first house.
    • I thought I had life figured out.
    • I finally attempted to have another 'real' relationship. (other than flings). It didn't work out.
    • I went to Vegas with my sister. Celebrated her 30th. Saw Bette Midler and went shopping. So great.
    • I learned I'm ready to have babies. (but not yet).
    • I met a guy who helped me and loved me as much as he could. We stayed together for two and a half years.
    • I quit my job. I hate to quit, so it was brave. Unfortunately it left me with no job.
    • I survived the toughest year of my life. No exaggeration. A miscarriage and two deaths. I'm not proud of that, but I'm proud of getting through it. Although it took a long time.
    • I turned 30.
    • For the first time since graduating broadcasting school, I started broadcasting. I went back to CIXM as an intern. I was on air some evenings, and voice tracked weekends. I loved it.
    • I worked at a job in a hotel working nights. I didn't think I would enjoy it, but I did. I also enjoyed the respect I had from my boss. Gave me some self confidence that I had lost.
  • I applied for a Creative Writing job in Saskatoon for radio. I got the job.
    • I moved to Saskatoon. I found a place to live, and I've started over as a single girl.
    • I have participated in every thing I could in this beautiful city. Folk fest, the Fringe, the Ex, Wicked, and so much more. I experienced a great summer and fall. Some of it with my ex and some of it alone. I've made new friends, and caught up with my old friends, and am spending time with my best friend's children.
That's it. I'm sure there is stuff that I've missed, but here are the important things in my adult life. There will be more. They'll happen from a list or by accident, but they will be great. Just like my past has been.

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