Thursday, August 26, 2010


It's getting late. It always seems to be late when I write. I put it off. Maybe it's because I have too many stories to tell. I'm either scared to tell them, or too lazy to tell them. I've thought about so many different things to talk about since the last entry. I wanted to start with an easy story. Believe me, these past couple of years have not been 'easy stories'. That's in my opinion. I guess that's the point of a blog. My hard luck stories are probably not even close to real hard luck stories.

However, for most of my life, as I like to say, I was living in a bubble. I understood difficulties, but I had never truly experienced them. The worst I had experienced by the time I was 25 was death of pets and break ups. To be honest, the break ups weren't bad. The most painful one was when I was turning 25. I was in Korea, and broke up with my boyfriend of five years. That was hard, but looking back, not as hard as it should have been. Either way, I was still in my bubble.

The stories I have are from beyond the bubble. The one I wanted to start with was about my condo, and the people I rented it to, but that's so far into my bubble being popped, that it may cause confusion.

I have a different blog about Korea. Which, I hate to say, but that's where life started for me. That's where I lost some of my insecurities, and began to live life. I stopped caring, and just did. That was probably naivety as well, but that's the way I stayed for a few years. Either way, I'm not going to start any stories from Korea because while they were important to the way I am now, they have already been read. I plan to someday write about my experiences there (a book would be great), but not here. This is the place for me to be brave and talk about all those things I haven't.

I'm going to start in Melfort. I stopped writing in broadcasting school. I lived in Saskatoon at that point. To be honest during the duration of Broadcasting school and being a receptionist at Leon's Furniture, I was pretty precarious with my life. And I don't mean in dare devil experiences. I should have cared more about myself when it came to flings and relationships because although I loved being single, I was actually pretty desperate. I don't know how to explain it because I'm no longer there. It's like I was scared of relationships, but I wanted one so badly.

Either way, I moved to Melfort for radio. Instead of going into broadcasting, I went into Creative Writing in radio. I wrote the commercials. And I loved it.

What I had trouble with was Melfort Saskatchewan. (I just googled it, but haven't found the population yet, I think it's around 8000). I found it quite clique, and had trouble finding a group. I wanted friends, but found myself travelling to Saskatoon a lot to see my old ones. I had work friends, but they were married, with kids, and were happy. I loved that, but felt bad for myself.

I feel like I should mention that at this point in my life, even though I was 27 in Melfort, I did not have my driver's licence. It's really something I was truly embarrassed to admit. I didn't get it in high school because I was scared to, in University I took the bus and didn't need it. In Korea we had a subway system, and I had no reason at all to drive. While I lived in Saskatoon, I walked everywhere, took the bus, and relied on friends. However, when I was in Melfort, I wanted to get out. What should have been an hour and a half drive to Saskatoon took about four hours on bus.

Finally, I asked for help. I do not ask for help easily. When I asked, I cried because I was so embarrassed. My boss (who was my age) took me driving, and let me drive her truck for the test. I passed and had my license. It was that easy. Makes you wonder why I didn't go earlier.

You have no idea how long that was on my New Year Resolution list. The list started looking pretty empty after that.

Back to how I got to where I am now. While in Melfort, although I loved my job, I craved moving out of Melfort. Let me make myself clear, I loved my job, and I loved my coworkers. I had a great time everyday that I was at work. To be honest, I miss it to this day. My job was to write every day. I gave it up so move. That was my motive. I wanted to get out of Melfort. I wanted to start my life and Melfort wasn't the place for a single girl (especially with no single guys). I wrote commercials for a 'sister' radio station in Whitecourt Alberta. I loved it, but wished I lived in this far off town. I was given the opportunity when they needed to replace a sales person. Account Executive... My bosses convinced me (although they were in sales as well), that I would love the job.

I was ready for something new, and looked forward to the new experience. My travel bug instincts were in full force and I was ready.

That's Melfort. Not as exciting as the rest. Exciting may be the wrong word, but it's close.

I'm going to try to proof read now. But really, I'll probably just press spell check. Which means nothing for the real proof reading... but it's late. So hopefully tomorrow, I'll fix any mistakes.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I have a story to tell

It will have to wait though. I promised my friend that I would write every day, so that's why this post is only a line. It's almost 1am, and I work tomorrow. It'll be a good story though. I promise. (a real story, not a made up one... I'm not ready to share my fiction with the world yet). Sorry, I know this is cheating!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Do One Thing A Day That Scares You

"Do one thing a day that scares you'. I have a lulu lemon bag that sits in my bathroom (It holds bathroom stuff), and that's one of the things it says. It has a lot of inspirational saying, but that's the one I notice first. In fact, I'll probably be quoting more from the bag in different posts.

I've already hopped off the topic. For a while in my life, I was completely comfortable with myself, with my life, and I felt invincible. I felt like I could do anything, and nothing scared me. Since than, life has kicked me, and I've changed. I'm scared of a lot more. In other words, to do one thing a day that scares me, shouldn't be hard to do. I'm scared of a lot of things. However, it feels like I've been letting life pass me by.

While, I don't think I'll be bungee jumping anytime soon, just coming back to this blog is a little bit scary to me. I know I'm a good writer, but I'm planning to write things here that are personal. I'm planning on at some point telling the story about life kicking me when I'm down. Not today though. I need to start slowly.

The other worry I have about blog writing is that I don't have a lot to say that deems important enough to write in a blog (in my opinion). If you've looked at the other entries, they're not very interesting. Possibly because I haven't made them interesting. I loved writing when I traveled. It seemed like it was something people enjoyed reading, and a great way to remember my trip. As well, I love reading blogs from people travelling, and doing exciting things. Or people going through scary things. I highly recommend The Bees Knees. You should be able to google it. It's about a very brave woman (only in her late 20s) going through a battle with breast cancer. She was candid and honest about everything, and let people know what she was going through. It was well written, and so very sad.

Those are the blogs that people should read. I'm not there. This is going to be about my thoughts and my life. When I get brave enough, I will be completely candid, and talk about the last few years.

Obviously, because the last entry was written in 2007, and it's now 2010 a lot has changed. So to quickly update on my life, I'm living in Whitecourt Alberta right now. I came here for a sales position at the local country radio station. I LOVED working in radio (before sales, I was a Creative Writer for the commercial), but I didn't love sales. I met Cameron here. He'll be mentioned a lot.
That's enough for now. I'm going to try to write a lot, but I can't guarantee that.