I may grow older, but I'll never grow up.

So I know this is an insult to anybody older than me, but I don't want to get any older. I've been fighting off turing 26 for about a year now, and I think -in about two and a half hours -the fight is going to end.

I normally love my birthday. I like the celebration... and being the center of attention! This weekend was great, but now that I actually have to turn a year older, it's not seeming like it'll be fun at all.

My problem is this: I had a huge year. Being 25 resulted in having a competely great year. I had ups and downs, but mostly ups. I'm scared of 26, and of not having the same great year... which I know is completely up to me, and me alone.

But seriously, while I was 25, I was single for the first time in five and a half years. I had some fun flings -and some not so fun flings. I had a crush... well crushes. I lived in a different country. I lived alone for the first time (no roommates or other such things). I ran off a cliff twice (paragliding)- I snorkelled in the ocean. I tried new things that I should have tried years ago like snowboarding, surfing and skateboarding (I know the skateboarding thing didn't work out, but I still did it). I learned that while I did try new things, I'm really not as brave as I thought I was, but it will make me try harder (bungee jumping: some day I will do it). I went to three different countries. I learned more about myself, and learned that I will never stop learning about myself. I met some of the greatest people, and I know that some I will continue to be friends with, and some I will lose touch with, but the point is that they were wonderful people who made my year great. I also reconnected with older friends that I had lost touch with. I learned how to get over the little things, and I learned that I still need to learn how to get over the little things. I may have also learned what I want to do with the rest of my life... but knowing me that will change in a month anyway, so I'll wait to announce my newest life plan. I laughed a lot. I also learned to laugh at the many embarrassing things I did. I came home. -But I'm still looking for where home is.

I just needed to write some of those down. I'm scared for 26 because I am back to real life now, and things are not going to be the same. I am fighting this growing up thing in EVERY WAY possible. So far it's working, but I'm scared that my luck may have run out.

Erin